I apologise for not being active on here as of late, and I probably won’t be reblogging for a while, I don’t know.
long story short I’ve been referred back into an eating disorder clinic again, things have gotten rather bad. this downward spiral has resulted in me being at 100lbs and losing sight of what matters in life so I’m going to be getting the help I need.
I do not deem it right to be posting constantly when my mind set/body is far from healthy. I may use this for my recovery, however.
my Dad and I had a big heart-to-heart about my eating and he told me how worried he’s been for a while but hasn’t mentioned it as he doesn’t want to put any pressure on me or anything but from what I’ve told him he thinks I should start seeing someone again and I’m not sure on what to do. I don’t feel ill enough/thin enough to be getting help.
I was angry, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was confused, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was exhausted, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was lost, unsure, empty, afraid. Certain that whatever was left of my sanity had snapped, had come untethered and floated away, to a place so high and remote that I would never see it again, and that even if I did, I wouldn’t recognize it.
So I went for a run. And things got better.
I felt like things could not possibly get worse, so I went for a run. And things got better.
(Another time, I felt like things could not get much better. I went for a run. Things got much better.)
After enough miles, over enough runs and enough years, I realized: No matter what, no matter when, or where, or why, I can find my shoes and go for a run and things will get better.
And that realization? Just knowing that?
It made things better.
” —Mark Remy, Runners World (via justkeepbreathing831)having huge anxiety about our works meal next week. they all decided on pizza hut and were like ‘oh is that okay Charlie?’ and I looked at them and I could feel my heart racing and I just replied ‘yeah, that’s fine’
none of them know of my eating disorder but they know I eat healthy (I always turn down doughnuts/biscuits/cakes they offer me) but they were a little patronising in the way they stated ‘don’t worry, we’ll eat all the pizza and you can raid the salad cart!’
not only that but they decided to meet there for 8.30pm. EIGHT THIRTY PM I MEAN HOW THE HELL CAN I EAT AT THAT TIME. eh
no matter where we could go to eat I wouldn’t be happy so I may as well just shut up and deal with it
